5 Christlike Ways to Empower Children Through Divorce

Divorce doesn’t just affect a couple—it ripples out to children, reshaping their world in deep and often painful ways. As parents, grandparents, or even leaders in the Church, one of our most sacred responsibilities is to protect their hearts, preserve their trust, and help them thrive—even in hard circumstances.

The Savior showed us exactly how to do this. Throughout His ministry, He treated children with tenderness, attention, and empowerment. When we look to His example, we can learn how to safeguard and strengthen our own children during the challenges of divorce.

Here are five Christlike ways to protect and empower children in divorce.

1. Make Time for Them

When others thought children weren’t important, Jesus said, “Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:14).

During divorce, life feels overwhelming—court dates, finances, emotions—but your kids still need you to be present. They need to feel seen, heard, and safe.

That doesn’t always mean grand gestures. Sometimes it’s as simple as asking:

• “What was the best part of your day?”

• “What was hard for you today?”

• “What made you smile?”

One of my favorite family traditions is High, Low, and a Buffalo: everyone shares a high moment, a low moment, and one random thing from the day. It’s simple, fun, and opens up conversation.

When kids know they can talk to us about little things without judgment, they’ll also trust us with the big things.

2. Set the Example

Our kids are watching us more than they’re listening to us. They see how we handle conflict, how we speak about their other parent, how we deal with stress, and how we lean on the Lord.

• Do they see you pray when you’re overwhelmed?

• Do they see you choose peace instead of revenge?

• Do they see you show respect, even when it’s hard?

And when we fall short—which we all do—the way we respond matters. Saying, “I didn’t handle that well. Will you forgive me?” models humility. It teaches kids that discipleship isn’t about being perfect, it’s about trying again with the Savior’s help.

One of the best ways to protect children is to show them resilience, forgiveness, and faith in action.

3. Speak Up for Them

Jesus was fierce when it came to protecting children: “Whoso shall offend one of these little ones…it were better…that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matthew 18:6).

Protecting our kids in divorce means speaking up for them—even when it’s uncomfortable. That might look like:

• Refusing to use them as messengers between parents

• Saying no when conflict starts in front of them

• Choosing not to vent about their other parent in their presence

President Dallin H. Oaks reminded us: “Children need others to speak for them, and they need decision-makers who put their well-being ahead of selfish adult interests.”

It’s not about creating the perfect divorce—because that doesn’t exist. It’s about creating stability, love, and safety in an imperfect situation.

4. Minister to Each Child Individually

In 3 Nephi 17, the Savior didn’t just bless a crowd of children—He blessed them one by one.

That’s an important reminder for parents: each child will experience divorce differently. Some withdraw, some act out, some blame themselves, and some seem “fine” until months later.

Protecting children means ministering to the one. That may look like:

• Special one-on-one time with each child

• Counseling or school support groups

• Reassuring them again and again: “This is not your fault. You are loved. You are safe.”

When we slow down and really see them as individuals, they feel secure even when their world is shifting.

5. Empower Them with Faith and Tools

Jesus didn’t just protect children—He empowered them. He pointed to their faith as an example for all.

In divorce, empowering kids doesn’t mean shielding them from every hardship. It means equipping them with courage, faith, and practical tools.

That could look like:

• Teaching them to notice the Spirit’s peace and guidance

• Giving them a “code word” to text if they ever feel unsafe or overwhelmed

• Helping them create healthy coping strategies for big emotions

Empowerment helps children walk through difficulty knowing they are not powerless—they are loved, capable, and guided by God.

Encircle Them with Love

I love the scripture in 3 Nephi 17, when Jesus blesses the Nephite children and angels encircle them in fire. That’s what our kids need during divorce—protection, love, and strength from heaven.

And here’s the truth: we are called to be those angels. We can encircle our children with love, protect them with wisdom, and empower them with courage.

Divorce is painful, but it doesn’t have to define our children. With the Savior’s help, they can grow stronger, more resilient, and more faithful. And so can you.

✨ Final Thought: Divorce isn’t a surprise to God. He can use even this season to shape your children into the disciples He knows they can become—and to shape you, too.

💛 Want support for your journey? Book a free Reclaim Your Joy Strategy Session with me at https://www.findthejoywithjenn.com/reclaim-your-joy-strategy-session. You’ll walk away with clarity, tools, and peace for your next step.